Origin

I facilitate a free, peer-based Veterans support group that meets every other Wednesday at 8:00 pm EST via Zoom. The group began in the fall of 2020, initially formed while I was working with several Veterans who were struggling with alcohol-related issues. From the outset, the intent was modest and time-limited. As additional Veterans asked to join and found value in the space, the group continued to grow and has remained active for nearly six years.

Membership

The group includes Veterans from all branches of the U.S. military, with the Army most heavily represented. Members range widely in rank, from junior enlisted through senior enlisted and commissioned officers. Rank, however, is not discussed in group and does not structure participation. Members include individuals with Active Duty, Guard and Reserve experience, many with multiple deployments. Because of my professional work, a number of participants are current or former New York State Police, though the group is not limited to law enforcement. Participants currently join from multiple states, including New Jersey and New York most prominently, as well as California, Colorado, Pennsylvania, Florida, Texas and others.

Operation

Attendance typically ranges from six to fifteen people per meeting, with over thirty Veterans on the distribution list. While I facilitate the group, it is not dependent on my presence. On the occasions when I am unavailable due to travel or other commitments, another group member steps in and the meeting proceeds without issue. Meetings are typically one hour, though some extend to ninety minutes when discussions become more involved. Common topics include PTSD, substance misuse, marital and family strain, grief, physical injuries (particularly chronic back pain), conflict within the chain of command, transition to civilian life and questions of identity and purpose following retirement.

Culture

The culture of the group is one of respect, humor and mutual accountability. Approximately half of the members identify as being in recovery through the 12 Steps. Participation in recovery is not a requirement for the group, but it is an important part of the culture and informs how many members think about accountability, humility and support. There is also a fair amount of dark humor in the group, often used as a way to tolerate difficult material and to connect rather than deflect.

Why It Works

What is most striking is the level of openness. Members speak candidly about mistakes, regrets and situations they wish they had handled differently. Many participants report that they never imagined themselves joining a support group of any kind. Roughly half were reluctant to attend their first meeting. In most cases, hearing other Veterans speak honestly about similar struggles changed that hesitation quickly. The group works not because people are told what to do, but because they recognize themselves in each other’s stories.

Rules

This is a support group, not therapy. There is no charting, no clinical documentation and no record kept of attendance or discussion. Members are required to keep everything that is said in group in strict confidentiality. Politics are not discussed. No one is permitted to sell products, promote services, proselytize or harass others. Participation requires a brief screening conversation in advance so that expectations, purpose and ground rules are clear. The group is free of charge. I am proud of the sincerity and reverence with which members treat one another and of the fact that the group has sustained itself through shared ownership rather than hierarchy.